Monday, March 29
that I think of daily, and occasionally allow them to haunt
me in my sleep. I am afraid though, that I won't be able to
take it well if I fail because this means so much to me.
Yesterday, I watched 3 persons in wheelchairs at the bowling
alley. They were bowling and extremely happy, talking and
laughing and being oblivious to the pain in their environment.
What is it that that gives them the joy which I hunger for?
It's an agonizing issue to have to think so hard yet not be
equipped with the ability to control the outcomes. Yet again
I know that much is within my power for this emotional game,
because I've found some peace of mind. I'll learn to keep
this volume of peace, perhaps even expand on it even if
I have to die, even if I won't live too long.